Suicide & Suicidal Ideation
Can u rec any suicide/suicidal thoughts fics?
Our poor boys have been through so much, right? Here are some suggestions along those lines (mind the tags, obviously).
COMMENTS AND KUDOS DON’T SOLVE EVERYTHING, BUT THEY SURE ARE NICE.
For the Wheel’s Still in Spin by @arukou-arukou:
Steve Rogers is a man of action, but in this brave new century, there’s
no action to be had. A man without a mission, all he has to linger on
are the people he let down and the lives he failed to save, and he is so
very alone. Nights eat at him and days pass in a blur, and Tony Stark
is the only person who seems to notice just how badly the Captain is
Steve Rogers’ Guide to Recognizing Your Saints by @everybodyilovedies:
Mary was for mothers. Christopher was for travelers. Michael was for
soldiers. Steve carried his saints with him from his life to this new,
Not About Superheroes (A Private Little War) by AnnaFugazzi:
In less than a year, Steve has been brought back from the dead, adapted
to a whole new world, plunged right back into battle again, and moved in
with a bunch of superheroes. He’s handling everything remarkably well.
Except when he’s not.
kissing the bruises left behind by @theappleppielifestyle: “God, I’d be lost without you, Tony,” Steve says, like a
confession, and his eyes are closed, leaning in to kiss Tony, so he
doesn’t see Tony’s smile stutter.It’s not that Tony doesn’t like
it- he does, but it worries him. He can’t put his finger on it, but
something about Steve saying that to him makes his stomach turn over.
Not that it matters, because if Steve’s lost without Tony then Tony’s
going to do everything to be there for Steve.
Scavenger Hunt by @winterstar95: In order to help Steve Rogers adjust to the 21st
century the SHIELD psychologists decide the best thing to do is to hand
him a list of ten things to find and experience. When Tony Stark happens
on the list, well, things are changed and a different kind of list
emerges. Tony decides that Captain No Clue needs a little help in
getting to know the 21st century and Tony decides he’s the best
candidate to help him. A list, a playboy/billionaire, and a man from the 40s – what could possibly go wrong?
Walk on Water by vailkagami: Captain America is back from the dead, and all should
be well. Too bad the world didn’t stop and wait for Steve’s return and
no one ever gave him a chance to get used to the latest changes in the
team dynamics. And it would really help if things between him and Tony
weren’t quite as raw – and if both of them weren’t so spectacularly bad
at talking to each other.Also, there’s a threat to the existance of mankind. But no one but Tony actually cares about that.
Wild or Tamed by Fangirlingmanaged:
Steve finds a suicide note from a seventeen-year-old Tony. It’s a shock, to say the least.
Give and Take by Raikishi:
Some nights are harder than others.
Dark Side by SailorChibi:
Tony makes it to the end of the street before he turns the car back
around and goes to find Steve. Devastated by the loss of JARVIS, he
tries to get Steve to punish him to make it hurt less. It doesn’t go as
In my darkest hours by Addison:
Tony is a little worse for wear after a battle and ends up saying a little too much to an unexpected visitor.
Some Things We Don’t Talk About by Whreflections:
When Steve finds a suicide note in Tony’s old physics book, he’s not
sure how to bring it up or what to even say when he does; all he’s sure
of is that he can’t bear the thought of losing Tony now that he has him.
When Life Becomes a Play (And I Don’t Know What Role I’m Cast) by firelord_zutura: Months after the Battle of New York, the team moves
into the tower. Tony and Steve keep dancing around each other, but
besides his feelings towards the man, Tony has enough to deal with, what
with trying to come to terms with himself and his own, personal issues.
He struggles through and through, but in the end, there’s only
one person who can save him – the one person he hates the most:
When the Adventure Ends by navaan:
During the war Tony Stark gets stationed at Camp Lehigh to solve a
problem: He’s dying. While he’s ponders the grim possibility of all his
adventures ending here, he meets a young man who is part of Project
Rebirth, who leaves an impression. Tony is not one to give up home, and
maybe what he needs is someone to remind him about that.
Whiskey Roulette by tsukinofaerii:
Tony tries to find a permanent solution to his problems. Steve stops him.
The Draw by romanoff: Tony has had a monster on his shoulder for a long, long time.Steve helps, but depression is not beautiful.
Tomorrow by Tobezilla:
Everyone expects Tony to be strong, to soldier on like he’s always done.
But when he’s given a choice between life and death, they find that his
answer is not as certain as they would think.
Highest Fall You’ll Ever Grace by @laireshi: “You’ll probably want these back,” Tony says at last,
and it hurts almost physically to pull the dog tags over his head and
offer them to Steve. But they never really belonged to Tony, did they?Steve seems to hesitate for a second, but then he takes his dog tags with a weird expression. “Yeah,” he says. “They’re mine.”
Black and White Doesn’t Suit Him by Quoth_the_Raven_Nevermore_Nevermore: Finally Steve blurts, “Tony – he has these scars.“
Look After Your Heart by @sineala:
It’s easy to make bad decisions when there’s no one left to stop you.
(An AU where there’s no such thing as time bullets. Steve dies on the
courthouse steps. A year later Tony wakes up with no memory of the war
and fails spectacularly at coping with the fallout.)
I’m Here by SuperMazeWolf: Tony Stark has had it. He’s simply done, tired of everything. He’s sure as hell ready to leave, but someone won’t let him.Basically Steve walking in just as Tony points the gun at his head.
Four Times Tony Was a Self-Destructive Idiot and One Time Steve Called Him on His Bullshit by @theappleppielifestyle:
It wasn’t a suicide attempt, he’d like to point out. It was an
overestimation of how many pills he’d needed to take, and, well, then he
was bored, and of course boredom lead to drinking, so it was on no
account a suicide attempt, at all.
How Not to be Nothing by @theappleppielifestyle: Tony’s still Tony Stark: genius, billionaire, playboy,
depressed alcoholic, semi-suicidal- wait, that’s not how it’s supposed
to go.Bruce is his college roommate and the guy who picks him up
when he’s wasted, Peter is his sort-of-not-really nephew who hangs
around too much and neither of them really mind.Then there’s Steve, and he’s… he’s, uh. He’s Steve,
and he’s sort of a welcome surprise. He comes with Natasha, the
gorgeous yet fucking terrifying business major, Clint, the undecided,
and Thor, the guy who no-one’s really sure about who cleans out
everyone’s supplies of poptarts.Somewhere along the way, they sort of become a family.
Second Chances by Crematosis:
After Steve gets into an argument with Tony on their anniversary, he
winds up in a world where Tony committed suicide after the Battle of New
Lesser Demons by sabrecmc: Post-CACW,
Peggy leaves Steve something in her will.